Assholes from Long Island

So. I've actually been dicking around for a long time saying I'm starting this blog. But never actually getting around to it. I have a tendency to be lazy around here, what with having amazing beaches, hiking, sunshine, etc. to deal with when I'm not working.
But these people pissed me off so SO badly tonight that they were the catalyst for me actually starting this thing that I've been talking about forever. So I thank you Assholes From Long Island. Thank you for making me so angry that I had to tell my story. This one's for you guys.

Tonight was supposed to be my easy night. The only night where I'm not behind the bar for 9 hours making endless mai tais for ungrateful pricks who only want to know if I have met George Clooney. Yes, I was only waitressing. And it was fine. Until last table from Satan's Lair walked in. Four people. A mom, a dad, and 2 daughters. I asked them if they would like drinks. Oh yes, this is where the trouble began.

 I asked the one daughter for her ID because she looked young. Other daughter, who turned out to be evil bitch in the picture to your left looked old as shit so I didn't card her. Young chick gave me her ID. I look at year of birth. 1972. Hmmm. Look at picture. Weird. It looks EXACTLY like old daughter. I say, "ok I think you gave me the wrong id, may I have yours please?" Funnily enough, she doesn't have it. Dad steps in: "this is my daughter, she is 25."
"Yes I understand this, but without ID I can't serve her."
Table proceeds to be extremely rude for the rest of evening. I tell them they must leave at ten pm because everyone needs IDs after this time. Old as fuck Daughter says to me "oh, I'm SURE you're happy to tell us that."
I say "excuse me? I am just doing my job." Botox bitch says "I was a bartender in New York for 15 years. We don't appreciate you treating us this way.  I already spoke to your boss about you. Good luck with your life." Ok. Thanks bartender lady. Then you should know the laws already but I guess that might have not applied to Scores or whatever skanky Gentleman's club you "bartended" at.
Moral of the story:
People from Long Island can be assholes. Don't let this ruin your night. Just tell the bitter dried up "girl" at the table who's giving you shit that you LOVED her bit part in Showgirls. It made you want to be a stripper too!! Sorry, I meant "dancer".